To all women: Embrace your inner ‘grey, white man’😉

Many women I know, especially freelancers (but likely women in organizations face this too), struggle with some degree of imposter syndrome. This often leads to difficulties in selling their incredible expertise or products.

What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy despite evident success, leading individuals to fear being exposed as a fraud. For female freelancers, it might show up as undervaluing their skills, hesitating to pitch for higher-paying clients, or overworking to "prove" their worth. This can affect confidence, financial growth, and overall well-being in their careers.

The confidence of grey, white men

How ChatGPT images me as a grey, white man...

On the flipside, there’s a stereotype of highly confident, often grey-haired and white-skinned men who seem to effortlessly sell anything, especially their own expertise. Let me be clear: I’m not saying this is inherently wrong. They could be very skilled at what they do and sell. However, there are instances where this confidence doesn’t always reflect their abilities.

Homophily: a hidden advantage

These men often benefit from something called ‘homophily’ or affinity bias. It’s the natural tendency for people to favour those who are similar to themselves in background, personality, or experiences. This is a crucial factor in understanding the dynamics at play when it comes to how success is perceived and opportunities are given.

Recent data highlights that women are still underrepresented in top corporate roles globally. According to Altrata's "Global Gender Diversity 2024" report, women make up just 32% of board members and 22% of C-suite executives in major companies across 20 leading economies (Altrata). In the U.S., a 2024 analysis by Russell Reynolds Associates shows that women hold 29% of executive roles in S&P 100 companies, with only 9% serving as CEOs  (Russell Reynolds).

Women on boards - Article by Altrata

These statistics emphasize the ongoing barriers to gender equality in leadership positions. They also play a role in strengthening the positions of those who are more often seen and heard—the confident men who appear to have the edge in selling their skills or products.

Men aren't necessarily 'better' — just better at selling

It’s important to note, though, that the men who occupy these roles are not inherently "better" at their work than women. They may simply be better at navigating a system that values certain qualities—such as the confidence to sell yourself—more readily. As women, we often need to work harder to convince potential clients or partners to see our value, but at the same time, it’s important to recognize that imposter syndrome is often more prevalent among women.

Imposter Syndrome affects both genders

Imposter syndrome affects both men and women, though studies show that it tends to be more pronounced in women. For instance, a 2023 KPMG study found that 75% of female executives have experienced imposter syndrome in their careers  (Forbes). Similarly, a 2024 systematic review published in Psychology Today revealed that women consistently score higher on measures of imposter syndrome compared to men (Psychology Today). However, it’s also crucial to recognize that men experience this phenomenon too, though societal expectations often prevent them from expressing it as openly (Wikipedia).

The solution: meet and embrace your inner grey, white man

So, my advice to all my fellow female freelancers is this: embrace your inner grey,white man! But do so in a way that remains true to your professionalism, expertise, and the unique personality that makes you, you. Visualize yourself embodying the confidence and self-assuredness that we often associate with those individuals who seem to command any room. Make him part of who you are.

Listen to your inner grey white man, instead of the imposter devil

This isn't about changing who you are

This isn’t about abandoning your identity or trying to mimic someone else. It’s about channelling the same boldness and unapologetic confidence that many of these men exhibit naturally. Think of your inner 'grey, white man' as a tool—a way to quiet the doubts of imposter syndrome and step boldly into the opportunities that you’ve earned. With that mindset, you can navigate challenges with the same assurance as those who seem to always have it figured out.

By combining that confidence with your own talents and strengths, there’s no limit to what you can achieve. So, step out there, take up space, and make your mark with unwavering confidence.

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